A Letter to My Sons
To my sons
I am so blessed to be your mom. You have grown into such wonderful young men with unique talents, amazing personalities, and your own individual special characteristics. I want to take some time to acknowledge you, share with you, and encourage you all.
I affectionately refer to you three as my rainbow babies. You didn’t know this little fact until just now. Why rainbow you ask? Because before bringing any of you into this world, I had multiple miscarriages. After that I was told that I wouldn’t be able to carry children of my own. In my mind, this was God’s way of punishing me for sins of my past.
However, my faith overruled all fear that man placed in my heart. The day I made it past the twelve-week mark and heard your strong heartbeats was an unforgettable moment. I knew then that God was telling me that it was time. Time for me to mature mentally, time for me to hold onto Him dearly, and time for me to share all that I’d endured to even make it to this beautiful moment in my life, motherhood.
From the very first moment I laid my eyes on you I knew you’d be a blessing, but I was worried. I was worried because I didn’t want to fail you as your mother. I didn’t want the world to mistreat you as many young black men before you had been treated. I worried that others in your path would pour fear and doubt into you and tell you, like others told me, what your limitations were.
While things didn’t work out between your father and I, I want you to know that we equally poured all that we knew individually into you. Although our ideologies about education varied, I’m thankful that he allowed me to guide you in that respect. You ultimately watched me obtain multiple degrees while taking care of home and working full time knowing that the way I went about it was not my plan for you. I purposely encouraged and supported your extracurricular activities because I wanted you to find what your passions were without imposing my own. How ironic that music is what caught you all, as it was a childhood dream of my own. Your father did what any father would do by signing you up for sports. We enjoyed watching you try your best in one, while not doing so well in others just so you’d have some idea of what you liked and didn’t.
Allow me to share with you, that I am always proud of who you are individually. Do not take on the wrongs of either your father or myself. You’ve already seen how men meant to inspire and pour into you, abuse their power and use their position to hurt and discourage you and others underneath them. Do not take on their attributes or their burdens, they are not yours.
As you continue on this path called life, continue to hold your head high and walk in integrity as you do today. There will be life circumstances and events meant to break your spirit. Use those moments to grow. Never let anyone diminish your voice, it is a powerful tool. Use your God given talents and share them with the world as you were taught. Be proud of who you are as black men. Always be a man of God, a man of good character, a man of self-respect. These are the things you should always be proud of. It will get hard sometimes, but this is a lot of responsibility. Responsibility that I know each of you don’t take lightly but will uphold. Always remember, to whom much is given, much is required.
Please know that my love for each of you is greater than I can explain. My hope for you all is not that you turn out to be the ruler of the world, but if that is God’s will for you, I support you all the way. My desire is that you each contribute positively to your community, your future families and anyone in your circle of influence. May you all achieve a level of greatness not comparable to those around you, but greatness you’ve designed for yourselves.
When you create a family of your own, remember to keep God at the center and make your family your priority. Prayer you will find, will keep you grounded and often times you’ll feel like there’s nothing happening. In those moments trust God, He is always working, maybe not how you’d like but always to your good. These are the things that have sustained me throughout your growing up. Maybe you’ve recognized this, but maybe not. These small gems will keep you, trust me.
As you choose your partner, choose wisely son to whom you give your heart. Love is not easy, but it shouldn’t be hard either. Work is going to be required from both of you to make it work because people grow. If you find that you’re not growing I implore you to really evaluate the relationship because two people should never be stagnant when trying to build a life together. I hope that my life has shown this to you.
Please know, that I will always be here to embrace your successes, to support your learning when you make mistakes and provide you a safe place to talk when you need to be heard.
You all have got a good start on your journey in life, but if you ever need me you know I got you.